A Guide To Tantric Massage

TANTRIC MASSAGE

I guess the majority of us have heard about Tantric sex and massage. Had anyone asked me what it was exactly I would have giggled shyly and muttered something about gentle touching, feathers, massage and no orgasm. How wrong I was.

Tantric massage is basically just a massage. However it was created from the belief that if you are sexually happy and relaxed then your health will benefit. The Hindus describe Tantra as achieving personal growth through pleasurable existence. The massage itself does tend to cause orgasms, but these are described as a bonus rather than the aim.

Although Tantric massage does not involve actual penetrative sex, it does involve full on touching of the organs. For this reason you will not find it offered down your local health centre. You are far more likely to find it on offer in the many massage parlours in London and other major cities.

If you want to have a go with her or him indoors here is a pretty basic guide to Tantric massage.

Firstly, from this point on, your manhood is referred to as Lingam (wand of light – don’t be thinking light sabre it’s not that big!) and the lady’s bits are called Yoni (sacred space or sacred temple). Let’s face it those words sound much nicer than the alternatives.

If you are visiting somewhere for your massage you need to decide in advance whether you will be getting naked or not. Proper Tantric masseuse prefer you to be naked, they believe this helps the healing process all over your body. If you are shy you can choose to keep some clothes on, I am guessing you will want to cover your Lingam or your Yoni. If you are at home with the missus or the husband, get your kit off and turn the heating up.

Choose some gentle music (whale music is optional). Now banish all thoughts of kneading your lover all over until she or he begs for mercy. It’s not that kind of massage. Make your lover lie on his or her back, legs apart and a cushion under the hips to raise up the Yoni/Lingam area and a cushion under the head so they can look at their genitals. Explain that although there will not be any penetrative sex this evening you will take them to previously unknown heights of sexual satisfaction. It may help to convince them if you do not print off this article and place it next to them on the bed. Choose your lubricant wisely; chocolate body sauce has no place here.

The massage itself involves every part of the body, although I guess the Yoni/Lingam area will receive more than its fair share of attention. The massaging of the body is to help prepare the receiver for the attention you will be paying their genitals.

Yoni Massage

Pour a small amount of oil on to the mound of the Yoni, just enough so it drips down the outer lips. Massage each outer lip slowly between thumb and forefinger, sliding up and down the entire length of the lip. Only ask your lover if the pressure is too much or not enough. Try to look into their eyes during the massage and ensure she can see what you are doing. Do the same for the inner lips of the Yoni. Take your time and watch your lover relax.

The jewel in the crown is the clitoris. Four times more sensitive that your Lingam so take it easy here. Begin by gently stroking it in a clockwise and anti-clockwise direction and squeeze it gently between your thumb and index finger. The missus will be well and truly fired up by now but try not to allow an orgasm just yet, let the sensations build. If it becomes too much, just back off a bit and encourage her to breathe deeply. Now insert the middle finger of your right hand (I can’t remember why it has to be the right one but I shouldn’t think it would cause too much trouble if you need to use your left instead.) and gently feel around inside continuing to massage gently.

With your palm facing upwards and your middle finger buried in the Yoni, bend your finger back towards the palm and you should feel a spongy area just under the pubic bone. This is known as the G-spot (“that’s where it is!” I hear you yell). Gently massage here, in circles, back and forth, side to side. Your lover may feel the need to pee but hopefully she should feel pleasure building slowly. At this point you may wish to insert the finger between your middle finger and your little finger. Whilst a few of your digits are employed inside, you may as well use your thumb to continue circling the clitoris. Another option is to leave your middle finger inside, continue stimulating the clitoris with your thumb and insert your little finger up her anus. I would suggest you perhaps test the waters first as anal penetration when you are not expecting it would definitely ruin the mood. Whilst all this is going on, your left hand may feel a little underused. Use it instead to continue stroking and massaging other parts of her body (her body parts not yours!). Your lover will more than likely experience a very intense orgasm and afterward will feel completely relaxed. She will generally drift off to sleep and leave you in a state of arousal with no prospect of a Lingam massage for you tonight!

Lingam Massage

Traditionally the giver, some men may find it difficult to lay back and think of England whilst his lover goes to work on his wand of light. However, I do suggest you give it a go bearing in mind the fantastic massage you gave her Yoni last night.

Get your man to lay back on the bed with a pillow under his head to enable him to see what you are doing. Put a pillow under his hips and spread his legs with his knees bent. His Lingam must be completely exposed. Begin as before by gently massaging all over his body, avoiding this area for a while. This allows him to become completely relaxed and prepared for the touching of the Lingam. Pour a small amount of oil over his shaft and testicles and begin gently massaging his testicles. Next massage the area on the pubic bone above the Lingam. Massage the area between his testicles and his anus (perineum). Moving on to the Lingam, gently grasp the base with your right hand and move up the shaft and then remove your hand, repeat with the left hand. Do this for some time, then change to grasping the Lingam at the top, slide down the shaft and remove your hand, replace with the left and repeat this process. The head of the Lingam is very sensitive and deserves special attention. Massage it in a circular motion. Don’t worry if the Lingam goes soft, it will shortly perk up again. Likewise if your partner seems to be on the brink of orgasm, back off and encourage deep breathing.

Keep bringing him close to orgasm and then back off. This is not a method of torture, it helps them to control their ejaculation and therefore achieve longer and more pleasurable orgasms. Whilst continuing to massage his Lingam, you can search for his sacred spot. This is located between his testicles and his anus. It is a small indentation about the size of a pea. If you massage here and gently increase the pressure he may well feel uncomfortable at first. Applying pressure here will help him gain control of his orgasms in future. If he is nearing ejaculation you can apply pressure here and this will increase the intensity of his orgasm.

Sensual Massage, Touch and Intimacy

‘My touch can tell you what my words cannot
My touch can reach the places my heart feels
My touch can heal your deepest hurt
My touch can bring you the highest pleasure.’

There is magic in touch, there is comfort, healing, connection, warmth and melting pleasure.

We are sexual end sensual beings from the time we are born to the day we die.

We need touch, we crave to touch and be touched. Many studies have been done on those deprived of touch on infancy and childhood and the problems experienced by this lack.

It has been suggested that for optimum health an adult needs 8 hugs a day, 8 embraces that enfold you in someone’s arms, not just a quick grab and squeeze, slap on the back. How many hugs have you had today like that?

The world of sensual touch offers an endless range of pleasure and possibilities.

We need to understand the difference between sex and sensuality to understand the possibilities of this form of touch.

Sex is generally a goal-oriented, genital activity. The goal of sex is orgasm. Once that’s happened then the game’s over and we go on to the next activity, which for men is generally falling asleep. So perhaps it should be called ‘going’ rather than ‘coming’.

Sensuality is different. A sensual experience includes all that we are, from the top of our head to the soles of our feet and everything in between. Sensuality also includes our hearts, emotions and feelings.

This makes sensual massage and touch an intimate experience.

Sex is not necessarily intimate. It’s vulnerable but not intimate. When a man is asking for sex he’s vulnerable. When a woman opens her body she’s vulnerable.

If you’re having sex and your eyes are closed and you’re lost in some fantasy, there’s no intimacy in that.

Many women will tell you that kissing is often more intimate than sex.

Sensual massage and touch doesn’t have an end goal. It doesn’t have to go anywhere specific. It’s not always heading for orgasm.

One of the reasons sexual encounters are not always fulfilling, especially casual sex and one-night stands is that they offer a physical release, a few hours of touching, but no more.

It feels good but as soon as it’s done we’re looking for the next one.

What we’re looking for is intimacy, a deeper connection than just a pair of genitals sharing pleasure.

This is where the excitement of sensual touch and its many possibilities comes in. It even offers us different possible endings than sex.

Sex generally ends in orgasm unless you’re practicing Tantra and are aware of other Eastern sexual philosophies and practices. By focusing on reaching orgasm we move out of the moment, out of the pleasure we’re experiencing and into what we need to do to get to the orgasm.

Sensual touch puts us right in the present, in our bodies and fully here with our partner. It can become sexual but doesn’t have to; it may include genital playing but doesn’t have to.

It may be reciprocal or a gift that you give or receive from your partner. It can be a form of deep healing, of communication and connection.

It can be a picture that you paint on your lovers beautiful body or a poem that you write on their skin.

It can be a time of constant exploration of the wonder of both your bodies, for to do this type of massage is to explore yourself as much as your partner, so you get so much from giving. One common complaint is that one partner always gives more massage, more pleasure, initiates more than the other. This leads to frustration and anger and a feeling of resentment if I’m always the one massaging you and when you do reciprocate it’s often a perfunctory rub that leaves me feeling worse.

The single biggest sexual problem in relationships is boredom.

People lose interest in each other; they end up making love in the same position, same night, same time. It becomes a duty, just another thing we do.

Sensual massage and touch is never boring as it allows you to massage as an extension of how you feel. If you’re energetic and playful, you can touch one way, if you’re chilled and relaxed you can touch differently. There are no rules other than do what feels good for both of you.

You’re not bound to any specific massage routine. This comes from inside and anyone can do it.

I have a saying that your hands know how to massage and touch, your mind says you don’t.

We all have this within us; it simply needs to be woken up.

This type of massage also teaches you to massage with EVERY part of your body. This gives you constant excitement and exploration. You’ll always see your partner and your self from new angles; feel something that you’ve never felt before.

Every time you massage will be different, therefore you can’t get bored. You get into a spiral of excitement and looking forward to play time, thinking of new possibilities, new ways to touch. It opens a wonderful avenue of creativity that spills over into other aspects of life.

The gentleness of this touch takes us back to a time of safety that we first felt when we were babies. When a baby cries, we pick it up, check if the nappy needs to be changed, are they hungry, thirsty, hot or cold. After that we cuddle and rock them, stroke them until they’re calm.

They feel safe and loved.

This touch is reminiscent of those feelings. Feeling safe opens the doors to communicating, deep and honest words. This is a time when people will start talking about so many things they’ve never shared before. Many men are amazed at the ease with which they can talk about emotional issues after this type of massage, lying close with their partners.

Women are even more amazed that their men have feelings, never mind express them.

When we see and feel the benefits and excitement this touch and massage bring to our body and relationship, to our sexuality and our spirituality, we want more.

Then it becomes a wonderful conscious choice to spend more time with our partners. To touch and love and explore and play. We fall in love and lust again and again.

3 Hot Foreplay Sex Tips That Will Result in Earth-Shattering Orgasms for Any Relationship

A good relationship with a loving partner definitely makes life worth living. Whether you are married, divorced or single, there is no doubt that you have discovered that sex is a very important element in finding and maintaining a healthy and joyful love life.

However, the meaning of sex between men and women is as different as a rock to a jet plane. Men can get turned on visually by a sexy lingerie or a hot model in an adult magazine. Whereas, a woman needs to be emotionally connected in order to have sex.

Because both sexes are wired differently, sexual problems can drive a wedge between couples.

Problems experienced by women include:

– Difficulty in becoming sexually excited

– Trouble reaching orgasm

– Not enough foreplay before intercourse

Problems cited by men include:

– Ejaculating too quickly

– Attraction to women other than their partner

– Erectile dysfunction

Thus arrives the inevitable question…How can I help my partner consistently reach orgasm?

Here are 3 easy foreplay tips that will make you a great lover and generate high-intensity, full-body orgasms for both you and your partner:

Use The Sense Of Touch To Excite Your Partner

Awaken the erotic anticipation in your lover by introducing touching into your lovemaking. Gently and slowly massage those secret hot spots. One part of the body to focus on is the ears. You can stimulate the ear by lightly stroking it with your tongue or probing it slowly with your finger.

Another part of the body to target is the inner thighs. There is a bountiful of sensual nerve endings awaiting your touch. Start with slow, short strokes and build to a mediocre rhythm.

However… are you ready for the number one hot zone that will spice up your sex life and get those juices flowing?

If you really want your partner to explode with desire, the most hypnotic and erotic spot on the body is the feet.

The secret of foot pleasuring began in the Bible. In the book of Solomon beginning in Chapter 7, King Solomon aroused his many wives by admiring their feet and sandals. Solomon had 1000 wives so just imagine his shoe bill. In addition, the Chinese have been using foot pleasure since the Tang Dynasty in the 10th century and it still exist in their current culture.

The goal is to arouse the senses – all of them by using the power of the foot. There is nothing more pleasurable than a long, slow, relaxing foot massage. Use a sensual-smelling massage oil such as Japanese Cherry and massage the sole of the foot in a slow, circular motion. Next, use your nose or tongue and explore the toes, the ball of the foot, the heels and the top of the foot. Caressing the ankles, massaging the arches, smelling and kissing the soles or sucking the toes are easy yet very effective ways to propel your partner into total bliss!

Change Your Sexual Routine

If you find you are bored or dissatisfied with sex, try changing your sexual routine. For example, if you are a woman and you are nude during sex, buy a sexy nightdress. If you normally do wear a nightgown, go nude and show your body. If you are a man, change those old pajamas or T-shirt and buy yourself a silk nightshirt.

A second tip is to make love in a different room of the house such as the shower, a hot tub, the washing machine while it is on spin cycle or the pool table. However, watch out for that glass coffee table that was only made to support 50 pounds. Be creative, use common sense and enjoy yourself.

A third tip is to change or advance your sexual positions. For example, if you are a woman, try drawing one of your knees toward his chest or try resting both of your legs over his shoulders.

And here is the new super sex tip of the century:

Reverse the universal sex position – to all men, lie on your back and women, please mount him. This position will allow the man to prolong the buildup before ejaculation. The man does not move at all while the woman does all the work using his penis to hit every g-spot, h-spot, i-spot or whatever alphabet she is aiming for. This technique will forever eliminate the 2-minute man. The football game in the other room will have to go into overtime if he wants to see it.

Plan A Spontaneous, Romantic Experience

Instead of the crowded restaurant scene, prepare a candlelight dinner for two. Or plan a sexy picnic with your favorite foods and a large rug and blanket to cover both of you. Then spend a romantic night in a hotel. If you have children, hire a baby-sitter for a day and spend the day visiting art galleries, museums or the zoo.

Here are a few more romantic ideas that either a man or a woman may enjoy:

– Buy new sheets for the bed and leave a love note on it.

– Too tired to cook or not a good cook and on a budget? Ask a friend to prepare a meal for you and spend an evening together with your partner in front of the fireplace.
– For men, know the six gifts that women request the most: jewelry, shoes, handbags, perfume, lingerie and attention.

– For women, know the six gifts that men request the most: sports memorabilia, tools, electronics, clothing, tickets and no nagging.

– Frame your baby pictures together.

– While out in the public, show your affection to each other by holding hands, hugging or just saying, I love you.

– Take long walks together on a regular basis.

– Make a homemade card or write a poem to your partner.

– For women, hide a box of chocolates under his pillow.

– For men, hide a gift certificate from her favorite store or salon.

– Communicate and listen to each other.

– Schedule and learn a new dance routine together at your local dance studio.

Remember – action speaks much louder than words. You don’t have to buy big expensive stuff – it is the little stuff you do that makes you a good lover.